


Saying I Love You

by realisticromanticbuthopelesslysingle



Category: Shameless (US)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 10:15:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1854325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realisticromanticbuthopelesslysingle/pseuds/realisticromanticbuthopelesslysingle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few different ways the guys express their feelings</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saying I Love You

**I.**

Ian was so tired and ready to just crawl in bed and sleep for hours.  He and Mickey had been rotating on different schedules for the last 2 weeks.  With him bartending night shift and Mickey working a few roofing shifts all day they were basically ships passing in the night.  He knew they would have the chance to share a cup of coffee and a kiss before Mickey had to head out, plus they would share a quick dinner and a make-out session when Mickey got home at 4 before Ian took off to be at the bar by 5.  Ian sighed as he walked in the door "Hey Mickey, I missed you."

Mickey looked up and headed straight into his boyfriend's arms with a sigh, "Fuck man, I can't get used to sleeping alone.  I never want you dancing again but at least then you got home around 3."

Ian tiredly rubbed his back and kissed his head before taking the chair and coffee Mickey offered to him.  "Yeah I know, but managing the whole bar is great money, even if it's only until Lance comes back from medical leave.  One more week and I'm back to regular schedule, and so are you huh?"

"Yeah, Donnie said 3 jobs already set up, and he's accepting construction jobs only from here on out.  He hates this roofing shit as much as I do"  Ian nodded and yawned but pulled Mickey toward him.  "Good thing too, it's getting hotter and I can't have my baby all sunburned."

"Fuck you" laughed Mickey with not even the slightest hint of anger or annoyance.  "Gotta go ok, get some sleep and i'll see you tonight."  Mickey paused and looked at Ian for a second like he always did before he leaned in for a kiss.  Ian smiled and waited until Mickey was at the door before he sent Mickey off with their own special form of I love you.  "Hey Mickey, you know what this feels like...it feels like home."

Mickey smiled because he had been waiting for it, whoever was leaving at the time always waited for the other to say it, it was their own private thing.  Mickey opened the door and turned to respond in the same way they always did, "yep, and no matter what I'll always come home."

 

**II.**

Carl still thought it was weird that his brother was in love with Mickey Milkovich.  Not because they were both dudes, but because they never seems to touch each other,  Sure he'd seen Ian grab his hand and drag him upstairs when Mickey and Lip were about to fight.  He'd also seen Mickey put a hand to his brother's chest and command him to "breathe firecrotch, relax and breathe" whenever Ian was getting to anxious, nervous, or agitated. Plus some other everyday touching, but that's what everybody did. So yeah they touched sometimes, but not like really touched.  Not like Fiona and her boyfriends, Lip and his girlfriends, Kev and Vee, Debs and her whatever, or even like him and Bonnie.  Plus, Carl knew it wasn't because they were gay because the foster guys he lived with touched all the time, like couple touching too, not just the regular stuff.  When he finally couldn't take it anymore he decided to ask Mickey because somehow he thought it was his doing and not Ian's.

 "Why don't you and my brother touch?  People in love are supposed to touch, Debbie said so"

"What the fuck kid, why are you so fucking nosey all the time?"

"Cuz I need to know, I mean we all know you're together and stuff.  Plus I heard Fiona and Lip saying they were surprised because you're the reason Ian's doing so well.  But you two never touch, and I know Ian likes touching." Sooo, like I said, we know you're together but why don't you touch?"

Mickey looked a bit flabbergasted but recovered quickly, Carl had never been shy about asking questions no matter how private they were.  Mickey thought for a second and then finally replied "we don't need to touch all the time" and nodded like that answered the question perfectly.  Carl sighed and figured he would have to go to Ian after all, but surprisingly it was Debbie who was able to help him.  

"They do love each other Carl, you just aren't paying attention.  You gotta look for the little things, like how they treat each other Carl, duh."  So Carl started doing exactly that the very next morning.

To his surprise Debbie was right.  He noticed that Ian made Mickey a plate at breakfast and picked up his dishes when he was done, and Mickey always carried snacks for Ian because his meds made him extra hungry.  Mickey could tell before anybody else if Ian was having a bad day.  Carl noticed he would grab movies and suggest they spend the day on the couch together after just seeing his face for a second when the rest of them had been talking to him all morning and hadn't noticed anything. Ian would somehow know exactly when Mickey needed a new beer without even glancing his way.  Plus, Mickey bitched and yelled to everybody else but was always nice to Ian and when he came in mad and stomped up the stairs Ian gets up and goes after him like he didn't have a ready to kill somebody look on his face.  Within a few minutes Carl would always hear laughter.

Carl cornered Mickey the next morning and told him everything he saw, "So i guess Debbie was right, you two do love each other."

Mickey looked confused because he thought he had already answered that for Carl, "Yeah, like I said, we don't need to touch all the time."

 

**III**

Ian knew Mickey had never known love in his life.  Sure his mom tried but she loved like Monica and Frank loved, at their own convenience.  Then there was Terry, which spoke for itself.  Mandy had at least known love from her Aunt but even she didn't know how to show it, and she was the only person who even cared about Mickey before Ian.  

Ian knew this so he never pushed Mickey to tell him how he felt.  He knew Mickey showed it whenever he could, doing things like finding him when he was both physically and emotionally lost was one.  Basically moving into the Gallagher house and then standing up and coming out in front of the whole Alibi crowd was two, and of course taking care of Ian when he was at his worst, just to name a few.  So when Ian finally told Mickey he loved him for the first time he didn't even expect him to say it back.

" _I love you more than I ever thought one person was capable of loving another person.  I know you're not comfortable hearing this and talking about feelings Mick, but after everything that's been thrown at us I have to make sure you know.  I love you, I love you, I love you."_

Ian smiled remembering how Mickey had gotten teary eyed and then smashed their mouths together.  How he had let Ian go as slow as he wanted when they made love after making out for a while, and how Ian had woken up to a fully dressed and smiling Mickey waiting for him with a full breakfast.  After getting dressed Mickey had shelled out money for a cab ride and a full day of fun at Navy Pier and held hands with Ian all day.  On the cab ride home an exhausted Ian had looked at Mickey with wet eyes and whispered in his ear "I love you too Mickey."

They continued like that for a bit, sometimes it was Mickey talking about his mom, sometimes it was him taking Ian on a date, sometimes it was just being affectionate in front of someone.  Each time Ian understood and would whisper in Mickey's ear "I love you too Mickey."  Eventually Mickey decided he wanted to say it to Ian but couldn't find the words.

"I love you Ian," Mickey just blurted it out one night while they were lying in bed.  Ian was speechless before he launched himself at Mickey and started crying and kissing all over his face.  

The next morning Mickey seemed weird and Ian knew why, "Mickey, you don't have to say it out loud you know.  I've known this whole time, when you show me I know."

"It's not that I don't want to say it, it's just...nevermind it's stupid."

"Mickey, tell me, you know I'll never think you telling me how you feel is stupid."

Mickey sighed, "I'm better now, at saying it I mean.  But everybody says it and I kind of feel like it doesn't meant enough with me and you.  I mean now that I get it I know that what I feel for Mandy is love, it took a while but I love Yevgeny too.  What I felt for my mom, as crazy as it seems, it was love."  Mickey paused trying to find the words to make Ian understand.  "What I feel for you is different, it's more, it's first before anybody or anything.  It's like...." Mickey faded off without finishing his sentence and Ian, already with eyes full of tears, rubbed his arm encouraging him to continue "like what Mick?"

"Like if the whole world was coming to an end, if it was every man for himself and there was no hope for survival, I would still come and find you first.  Because I want you to be the last thing I see, the last thing I experience.  Because no matter what happens in the afterlife, i'll be okay as long as I die with my eyes on your face and my hands in your hands."

Ian didn't know what to say and Mickey started to feel uncomfortable, like maybe he sounded like a total idiot, but then Ian smiled and said "If the whole world was coming to an end Mickey, I would come and find you first."  Then he kissed Mickey with all the love he held inside and said a prayer of thanks that he had Mickey in his life.

***

Nobody else knew when it started or what it really meant, and Ian and Mickey would never tell no matter how much anyone begged.  Even Yevgeny, Mandy, and the Gallagher siblings (the people Ian and Mickey were closest to) couldn't tell you for sure but they were all used to hearing it.  Ian leaving for work and he'd turn to Mickey "I'll come and find you first."  Mickey whispering in Ian's ear when he was having a bad day and feeling depressed, "I'll come and find you first."  Ian to Mickey when the results come in the mail and Mickey has passed his GED, "I'll come and find you first."  When Terry is (finally) sentenced to life in prison and Mickey is no longer afraid for his life he delivers the good news and Ian smiles, "I'll come and find you first."  Thanksgiving dinner when everyone is gathered around the tv in the Gallagher living room and the boys look at each other and say in unison, "I'll come and find you first."  

Everyone kind of figures it means I love you but the ones who know the whole truth, the few who know the ins and outs of everything they've endured  **for** each other and **with** each other, they know it means more. With Ian and Mickey it's always been way more than love.


End file.
